I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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