Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize