No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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