Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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