I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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