Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize