Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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