the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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