I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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