that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Small penises have feelings too.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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