I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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