hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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