I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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