I just threw up on my dentist
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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