I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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