I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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