If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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