3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize