we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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