would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize