i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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