so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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