Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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