I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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