I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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