at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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