Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize