There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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