I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I did not marry a roomba.
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