respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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