Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize