in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
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Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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