her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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