Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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