I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize