There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
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And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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