I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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