i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
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She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
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When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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