i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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