I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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