So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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