sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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