really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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