so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize