I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize