the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I bet he comes in French.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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