Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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