she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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