just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize