Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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